Last blog post,
you heard about our journey on a potential referral. Since then we have been
fielding a ton of questions in regards to our decision to say No. We have no
problem answering questions, please keep them coming.
First off, our
answer was not the one that we expected to give when a referral came. I think
that we had both expected to say yes to whatever child came in front of us.
There was and
still is an intensity to grieve for this little one when we think of
her. Obviously, she will ever know that we said no. That is not information
that will ever come in front of her. Thank God! I would hate to think of what
that would do to her. But we are still sad.
If you had missed
it in a previous post, we are adopting off the special needs list in China.
Special needs is a pretty broad term over there. It could simply mean that a
child was born with a mole (Yup that is considered a special need) and there is
obviously then the spectrum of a more severe special need as in CP. We have
prayed and have clearly, and in a level headed manner really thought through
what our family could take on at this time. If we were pregnant, we would not have this luxury. We would
have whatever child was deemed to be created in the womb. There would be no
option. But we are adopting, and with that comes a bit of say.
How did we know?
I do not have a
picture of what my daughter looks like, but I am in tune with the Holy Spirit
and can hear clearly a No when I hear a No. (Man how I wish I could hear it
more clearly when I am running my mouthJ). And it was clear. Once we spoke with the Dr, the answer was
clear for Michael, she was not it.
What’s next?
We wait some more.
Every two weeks, new child are put on the list in China. It is such a crazy
process. The adoption agencies wait for new children to be released and then
feverishly search for their families for that one. I can not imagine what it
would be like to be the gal that we are working with. Peering through the files
of all these little ones whose pictures are crying out for a forever family.
What will happen
to her?
She is put on the
list again for another family to adopt. We are praying for that family to come
forward. Although we will never know when they do, we trust that they will.
We trust whole heartily
that is in control and knows exactly what HE is doing. If there is anything
that is coming out of this process is being a parent is not a right or a right
of passage. It is an office that God gives people. It is in HIS time and
HIS choosing. And so we wait for the right time and the perfect choosing. Because
once she is here, we will have an even greater responsibility of raising whom
HE has entrusted us with for the time frame that HE chooses.
When they heard this, they raised
their voices together in prayer to God. “Sovereign Lord,” they said, “you
made the heavens and the earth and the sea, and everything in them.
A fun new fundraiser is coming keep tuned. We are
having T-shirts made that are awesome and bring our two cultures together. I
can’t wait to show you them.
Love,
Jennifer
Jennifer
