china

Friday, April 12, 2013

11 years ago



This post today is not about adoption, but about someone special who provided me unconditional love. 11 years ago walking her home changed my life forever, and as I reflect on all that has changed for me in the past 11 years, I reflect on the privilege it was to be her granddaughter and the greater privilege of walking her home at 4pm on April 12, 2002.

This was my little Russian grandmother who fled for greener pastures. She was an RN, a mother of 2, a woman to had a rough life but dearly loved her family. She was a woman whom my Grandfather scared enough when she came to see us there that she would take her purse in the bathroom. She had a Buick regal when we lived in NY that was 15 colors, white vinyl seats and an A track player. (She spray painted the car when it got a scratch). She was my Grandma Rollers.

When I began driving we would go to Publix together, the mall or anywhere else she had a desire to go. She would call me when I was in college to tell me that she college money for me, only to show up to a Ziploc bag of pennies. I could have cared less. I did not mind hauling her around with her wheel chair and oxygen tank. She came up with some funny names for my friends in order to remember them, instead of sour cream she said sewer cream and so much more. She made pink stuff for me, and we were afraid of her cooking. We shared our birthdays which now as I look back I miss. Her favorite place to eat was Red Lobster. If she knew she was going, she would save her stomach all day and then eat us under the table. 



My husband had the privilege of escorting her down the aisle at my sister’s wedding. She loved our dog so much that she would allow him to sneak up on the couch with her.

One birthday she told me the desire to have a string of pearls, I was in college and of course pearls were not in the budget. But I save and saved. On her birthday we had lunch together at a sweet little place and I gave her her pearls. I will never forget her face. She wore those things everywhere. To get the mail, bingo, and of course her favorite, Red Lobster. 

She fell and broke her hip. A few short months later she was gone. She had to go into a nursing home and made me promise I would not leave her alone. We did her nails together, talked about life and all that was happening.

We ended up calling in Hospice because it was obvious her healing was going to come in a way that our human hearts had not wanted. And I sat there. At 4pm on the 12th I held her hand as she walked home, but it was also the moment that she taught me the realness of God. You see, there was a woman in the bed next to her, a preacher. That had come in a couple of weeks before with a stroke that affected her ability to speak. Her family would come and pray over here, read scripture and pray. I will never forget the silence in the room as it all took place. Her color changed and she took her last breath. Just as that moment happened, that sweet lady was singing very faintly, Amazing Grace. It was the moment I knew that HE was real. It was not all that long after that, my life drastically changed.

It was not till a couple of years later that I was able to reflect on the moment with great joy. I know without a doubt of where she is. I also know that it was a privilege to have grandparents and a grandma like her. I have n regrets about the time I spent with her or the relationship we had. I miss her dearly and wish that she was here to see all that has happened since. The traveling around the world, the Great Grandchildren she has, my wedding or even future tense, our daughter. But it was a great privilege to be her granddaughter.

It is an incredible privilege to walk someone home. I have seen new life within hours of being born and I have also seen the other end. I know that the sting of death has been vindicated on the cross and that makes it a sweet memory.

I started a tradition years ago, we celebrate her by having her favorite treat, a Cadbury fruit and nut bar.

Much love and appreciation for a life,

Jennifer

Monday, April 1, 2013

Gotcha Day


In the adoption world, Gotcha Day is a huge deal. It is the day where everything is final. The courts grant the adoption and the family is officially added to.

My niece just celebrated her 10th Gotcha Day. It is amazing to think that our family was blessed 10 years ago to have her. She has brought so much joy to this aunt. I can remember the first day that I got to meet her, it is a picture that is etched into my mind forever.  She is the reason why I had such a desire to work abroad with orphanages and in orphanages. I wanted to give back for her.
The first time I met her. 

I couldn’t help but think about my own gotcha day. I was in a church in Sandy Springs, GA and I felt the Lord move. It was a day that will live in my heart forever, the day that I was written into the Lambs book of life. It was the day where God said Gotcha!
Easter got me to thinking about that day. Easter is such a special holiday. It is on that the ultimate price was paid on the cross and death no longer meant defeat. It was God’s way of redeeming those who would allow him to live in their hearts and subsequently live for him. To me, it is a much bigger holiday than Christmas. It is a day that I am constantly reminded that I am worth even when others in my life tell me that I am not. It is the day where all that I am about now, came to be.

Lets see…. Update on the adoption…..

There has not been a ton of movement that is note worthy of writing home about. I actually hesitate to give pen this out. We received another referral this week and also received an audible no from the Lord. Both of us receiving that no before we even chatted with the pediatrician. After the last time this happened, we got a lot of emails and calls from people wanting to know why it is a no. Adoption is such a personal journey, and this part is not one that I can explain in great detail. We greatly trust that the Lord knows exactly who she is, and we trust that he has a purpose in this painful part of the journey. I am thankful to have some connections with others (through a random source) that I can now chat with about adopting and specially from China. I am so incredibly thankful for their willingness to speak with folks that they never met. To walk alongside and listen to people that is are essentially strangers to them.

Praise the Lord we have met our next goal! God made it very clear this was not going to happen through scholarships. Although we are applying like crazy we keep getting turned down. But on the flip side, God has been providing. People have been mailing us checks for the adoption. My mom along with a  couple of friends in FL hosted a couple of candle fundraising parties that provided us a couple of hundred dollars towards the next payment and Michael and I have been saving like crazy.

We currently know that if we get a referral in the next 30 days then we would travel in September. We are currently working towards our next payment (Which is small compared to what God has done) along with saving for our travel expenses. Although we have a goal we would like to exceed this knowing that there will be additional expenses that we are not thinking of and because we will be adopting a child that will more than likely need surgery when she gets home, we would like to have as much as we can for expenses in relation to that.

So that brings me to the next couple of months…..

·      T- Shirts: I am happy to announce that we are having t-shirts printed to raise money for the adoption. With a  little input from Michael, we have a gracious friend who came up with a  design that merges the two cultures, The South/China. The shirts will be 10.50 each and all profits go towards the adoption. They will be black logo on a gray shirt. Adult sizes run S-XL. Currently we are placing an order for an initial amount but we would love to order more.
·      Along with the adult shirts, kids shirts will be available by special order. Youth sizes are available Youth XS- Youth L. If you are interested in either, please email me at Chinadibbs@gmail.com and we can work out the details. Or feel free to send me a private message through facebook.
·      Yard sale- We are having a yard sale in May with 100% profit going towards the adoption. We need your stuff! If you have anything please let us know and we can take it off your hands. The last yard sale we had we made $980 which was enough to pay for immigration fees.

I just want to say thank you all for all of your prayer, ears, eyes and hearts in walking through this process. We have had a lot of people telling us we are on the wrong path, we should be doing something differently so on and so forth. But the calls that come just to see how we are or the emails that come in are an incredible encouragement.

Much Love,
Jennifer