Family Day

Family Day :Aka the day that we were brought together as a family. Sometimes in the adoption world called Gotcha Day.

Yesterday we celebrated our first Family Day.  As Michael and I mulled over how we were going to celebrate and acknowledge this day, we knew for us, that Gotcha Day just did not work. For us, it just did not feel like the right word for our family. For us, it meant more than just “getting” our girl, but it was really the day that we became a family.

We had also decided that there would be no gifts. It is not her birthday, and so we really did not want to treat it as such. Because the day was about becoming a family, we wanted to spend the day as a family, we also knew that evening we wanted to meet up with Cathy, who had shared the day with us in China. So we did just that.

We started out with a special doughnut breakfast, (She was so excited that she actually rolled all over her bed when she saw them). We piled into the car and headed to the aquarium. We spent hours looking at fish, exploring, and watching our first 3D movie. From there we headed over to the park, and had a picnic lunch, topped off with a frozen lemonade from Chick Fil A. (Side bar….. if you had not had one, you better not try them. They are sin in a cupJ). Came home took a nap and headed out for tacos. We choose that because it was one of the meals we had enjoyed in China. There we sat in a jail cell in the restaurant, munching on chips and reflecting that  year ago, we were sitting in a Mexican restaurant in China, munching on chips.

So reflections on the past year…….

For one year I have been a mom. In this past year, I have celebrated every first holiday with my girl, I have watched her grow 5 inches and gain 14lbs. I have gone from essentially having a baby to almost a kindergartener. (big pill to swallow)

She has a joyful personality (most of the timeJ) that  lights up a room. She is growing a very compassionate heart as she learns about feelings and her heart. Her love for Jesus is growing. She has a desire for everyone to do everything together. She loves to be outside and be in water. Singing, music, dance bring her the greatest joy.

I am humbled as her mama that this year has gone as it has. Our transition, while it has not been perfect, but it has been fairly smooth. (granted that by no means, we are taking for granted that we are out of the woods yet). But mostly in part, our year has been smooth. We have gotten over some great great hurdles, and are thankful for that.

I was asked the other day, now that we have reached the year mark, do I feel like my child completes me. My answer to this question is two fold. No, I do not think my kid completes me. In fact that was never a thought in my mind. I can’t imagine putting that expectation on another person, let alone a child. Yes, she has enriched my life greatly. Taught me lessons on my own selfishness that I never knew, and have brought me great joy but her “job” here on earth was not to complete me.

But with that also came a deep struggle especially when we first got home. It was several months before I began to feel like she was my child. Yes legally she was my daughter, but in the beginning, she didn’t feel like it. I was more wondering when this sweet house guest was going to leave. It wasn’t until the bond started to form, that the initial feeling began to go away. When I really began to feel like her mom.

This year has brought me much joy, lessons learned, and a sweet girl that I am madly in love with.

Jennifer

The Legacy of a Great Cheerleader

Today is a sad day in my heart. Sad and yet peaceful at the same time. I have been gifted enough to have grandparents, on both sides that were my best friends, especially my grandmothers. And today, I lost my grandma, my last living grandma. Granddaughter is not a title that I give up easily.

The house where it all began

She gave me a gift for crafting, a love for volunteer work, how to give back to others. I spent countless weekends at her house, eating my grandma grill cheese and hagendaz bars. We had so many adventures together, road trips, Seaworld, Germany, a new dog, moving her out of state and so many more.

We spent many many hours on the phone talking about life, joking, crafting, baking, digging in the dirt, clipping rose bushes making grill cheese.  She taught me how to flip the birdJ, peel out in the dirt when needed.

But most of all, what she taught me about people is something that I never will forget, Love and service. She spent countless hours (thousands upon thousands) volunteering. She taught me what unconditional love was and how to love even when others might be unlovable. Oh and then there is the speaking my mind.

High School Graduation

And on top of all that, (much more that I did not mention) she was my biggest cheerleader. She rooted me on for everything I have done. From the little things like dance recitals, band performances, going to college, moving to China, getting married, adopting my daughter, she was always holding her pom poms and cheering loudly.

I decided several years ago, to make sure I had no regrets in our relationship. I made sure in college I had enough funds to visit her every few months. And even after, minus the year that I was in China, I saw her at least every 3 months.

The last and one of the few of my girl and her

My husband, had never known his grandparents, they were born in the later 1800’s, so Grandma Karlson was a grandma for him.  She gave him a run for his moneyJ I am so thankful that he got to share life with her. And, even more so I am so thankful that he was willing to work so hard to make sure there was always room in the budget to visit grandma. I remember there were a couple of months a couple of years ago, that we were up there every single weekend helping her move, and he never batted an eye. She was worth it, we could go without and she deserved it. We never had a regret.

I am thankful that I got to up there this week and spend time with her. Thankful for family that watched my kid so we could have some time together. Thankful my girl got to kiss her on the check and sing to her.  Thankful I got the opportunity to tell her what I wanted to say, get hand squeezes as we talked, and ultimately let her know the treasure she is and where her treasure of her heart was. It was hard to walk out of her room, heartbreaking in fact, however I had a sense of overwhelming peace in leaving knowing that as she spent her final hours walking into eternity, she and I both knew where we stood.

She is one of the special few, a rare gem and I am incredibly honored to be her granddaughter.

Brokenhearted,thankful, honored,

 Jennifer

PS- the last night we were there, Hosanna decided she was going to sing a song before we left. She picked it out all herself and sang it into the call button aka microphone:) Before we left. I know not many knew what she was singing, I knew and it was perfect. The link below...... Be blessed by my girls wisdom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hr1ldGm5JAQ