The things that nobody tells you......

There are plenty of moments where the adoption process is not glorious. The days when you are neck deep in paperwork, when your hand is hurting because you have been writing so much, waiting and waiting, knowing that the decision for you to be a parent is in the hands of humans, questions, and so on.  And I am sure that I am missing other things. But there are days when it is just not glorious. The days when people hear that your adopting and say that is so cool, but in the mean time you are thinking there is nothing cool about being put through the ringer, or paying the county to inspect your septic tank so you can be a parent.

I think from where your life has been built from will depend on how you use these days to affect you.

But for me, there are other days that just sneak up on me. I can feel them coming on, but for crying out loud, I do not feel like shedding tears today. The Longing Days as I fondly call them.

Longing is defined as: a strong desire especially for something unattainable.  And some days this just seems unobtainable. These are the days, where my faith is put to the test.

And I had one yesterday. Oh gosh did I cry and cry. I think when you are adopting, and it is your first child there are just things that you are forced to grieve. There is a lot that I am missing out on through adoption.  A lot that I am missing out by not naturally having a child. But then, there are also things that I am experiencing that only  an adoptive parent could experience.

This just seems to be a season of grieving. Please, Please, Please do not get me wrong, I love hearing about new life. But there are moments where it sneaks like the enemy in the night. I can feel like coming on, and then it hits like a tidal wave.

The process of adoption is incredibly emotional. It is like riding a roller coaster. I am thankful that God is giving me the time to grieve. Dealing with your junk is important, and I do not want to miss out on the opportunity to live without my junk. Less junk in my trunk makes life just a little bit lighter. And a better life not only for myself, but for my daughter.

On another note, We found out today we should have our home study back on Tuesday. Immigration office here we come!!! Please be praying that we filled the forms out correctly, and God will rush them through the right hands.

Much Love,

Jennifer

PS- Thanks to our village, the garage is filled with items for our yard sale. I actually think we will have one in the fall and one in the spring. If you are bored, come by on September 8^th and help is bring this baby home. We could use people to help be there the day of, price and so one.