Taking it back

Taking Christmas and Family Back

As we barrel (what seems slowly) toward traveling to China, discussions have been happening in our house about Christmas, things we want our daughter to learn, things we do not want her to learn as ok and so on.

We are taking Christmas back! That is what Michael stated as we got up to go get a Christmas tree a couple of weeks ago. And that is the truth. Christmas is a great season! I love it, I love to give gifts, I like to get gifts, decorating the house, but all of that is means nothing if the real reason for the season is not celebrated. The birth of Christ, the same Jesus that hung on the Cross for my sins, is the same Jesus was born in a stable, not a cushy crib like my child will have to lay her head in.

We decided sometime last year that our children would only get four gifts. It was something that we heard from our friends and thought, that is awesome! A want, a need, a read and a wear. We will be adding a 5^th which will be a give. That is it, simple, yet fun. Santa will exist in our house mainly because I want my child to have an imagination, I want her to dream. I love what Mark Driscoll had to say about it http://marshill.com/2010/12/13/what-we-tell-our-kids-about-santa-pastor-mark-for-the-washington-post

I really have no feelings about it either way. I have had a lot of friends ask if we are doing Santa. I have had people tell me why it is a bad idea, and people say otherwise. Each house is different, and I can respect that.

Even this year as we did our gift buying we really spent some time thinking through things. Lots of homemade goodies, but more over being more thoughtful. Some people may be surprised to hear that we begin saving for Christmas in January. This is really so by the time Christmas arrives we are not stressed, and can really think through things. It is also so we can finish early and watch the crowds. We are not, and will never be those Thanksgiving or Black Friday shoppers. If I told you what our Christmas budget was, one might balk at how small it is. Lots can go a long way with some thought.

So yes, in our home we are taking Christmas back. Re-centering it from what the world says to what the celebration is about. And with a little fun thrown in there. Next year, we will be spending it at home. There will be no traveling, we want her first Christmas to be special. I have heard for to long, “Well you do not have kids so you should drive to see people”. Let me go on the record and say, we will not be driving next year. If need be we will celebrate with others the day before or the day after, but the day of is at our house. All are welcome.

Values- I would imagine anyone who has been in waiting for their child to come home or be born, spent hours thinking about what they want to teach their child. We have been discussing this as well. What are the values we want our kids to have. What kind of moral compass will we set in our home which will shape how she sees, thinks, treats, herself and others. This is something some will not agree with us on, others may not like us for a time because of it, but this is our home. I want my daughter to know and believe that she does not need to seek out others to meet her needs. That her worth and self-value far surpass anything that anyone can offer on this earth. I want her to know that she is a special gift, and will have special gifts to share with others. I want her to know that her story long began before she entered our home, and each day has already been written. We are not naïve to know that we cannot protect her from everything. But I do not that the way we treat her, act in front of her, expose her to different situations will all shape who she is, how she feels about herself and so on. I want to give her a good foundation so that when she is an adult she can make decisions for herself, guard her heart when needed, love others, have a giving spirit and not be hindered by the word adopted. There are generational cycles that were passed down to both Michael and I that we have a desire to break. With that, we know that there will be some battles. But this is MY family. MY family that God is putting together, MY family that HE leads and guides. MY family that we are responsible for raising and MY family that ultimately I will be accountable for. I wonder what our world would be like if people were willing to say, I am taking back…………

So there you have it. Things that have been on my heart as this momma to be wrestles with bringing this little gal home. Mamma Bear wells up inside every so often.

Merry Merry Christmas, Thank you for walking the road of adoption with us, and life!

Jennifer

The Birth of Jesus

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while (Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

Jesus Presented in the Temple

When the time came for the purification rites required by the Law of Moses, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord”), and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: “a pair of doves or two young pigeons.”[c]

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you may now dismiss[d] your servant in peace.

For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel.”

The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Penuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

When Joseph and Mary had done everything required by the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth.And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was on him.

Silent Tears

Lately, I have found that tears are flowing for complex and simple reasons especially in regards to this adoption. Most of them come in the moments where I am home alone and thinking about her. But I also know and have to now confess Christmas is down right hard this year. In my human mind, our tree should have the “special” paper under it. There should be a stocking at the mantle for Hosanna.  She should be hearing about the birth of Jesus from us. It just down right does not feel right this year.

I have not lied when I have told people that I truly trust in God’s care for her while she is there are we are here. But there is something empty in my heart. And so silently I cry.

For most, people can only think of the glorious part of adoption when they see their friends and loved ones coming off the plane with a sweet face. To them that is the final culmination. To them, there was not all that much blood, sweat and tears to get there. All is well because she is home. And indeed, it will be glorious when we step foot off of a plane in Atlanta and Hosanna is home.

But for now, I must be honest I cry. We got our immigration letter yesterday. Still a few more steps before we get a travel date, but I cried. I bought her a few little things at the consignment store last week, I cried. We got some presents in the mail for her, I cried. We came home from my office Christmas party, and I cried. The stupid Publix commercial that is playing where the little girl is making Christmas cookies for her Grandpa, makes me cry.

These are the tears that nobody gets to see. The tears that people do not know about. This is the hard part of adoption.

And jus like the rest of the families that are in waiting, I long for my little girl to be home. I long for her not to spend another Christmas alone, Christmas does not seem right without her, or with any of the kids that we wait and long for.

This Christmas season, I am trying to remain peaceful with where we are at, and with where she is at. Because in a few short months she will be here, and all of these tears, will become tears of joy, not tears of longing. 

Selling, Selling Selling

We have been so incredibly blessed through this adoption process. We can say by the time it is done, it has been with cash. We have not mortgaged the house again, sold the cat, etc. We have been pressing hard with all kinds of fundraisers, yard sales, selling our stuff, t-shirts, saving like crazy. And on top of all that, people have handed us cash because they believe in us and most importantly they believe in Hosanna being a part of our family.

We are in the home stretch of fundraising. We need (as we figure it right now) $3-$4k to cover the rest of the adoption. This is mainly to cover travel expenses.

So here is a list of things along with pictures that we are selling. We can take paypal, cash, checks. Everything is shippable and if you need Christmas gift wrap let me know. You can also view it on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.k.bowden/media_set?set=a.10151837073832963.1073741826.508407962&type=1

Thanks for loving our little family. Humbling is all we can say.

Jade Bracelet, Elastic. Small/ Big Beads. $12, $1 to Ship

15x19 Fabric Pagoda Picture, embroidered  $30 Plus $6 shipping

15x19 Fabric Great Wall  Picture, embroidered  $30 Plus $6 shipping

Gospel inspired bracelet. $12, $1.00 to ship.

Chinese print Bracelet/Earrings. $15 for the set, $1.50 to ship.

Chinese print beads, Blue and White. $11, $1.00 to Ship.

Jade Necklace (18 inches) 3 bead earrings, $20, $1.50 to ship

Jade Earrings, Small/Large Bead- $11 
Shipping $1

Bracelet/ Earrings. Chinese Print Beads, Blue and White. $14 for the set, $1.50 to ship.

Jade/Pearl Earrings, $12, $1.00 to ship.

Small sling purse from China. Drawstring closure. $14, 1.50 to Ship

Small embroidered purse from a village in China. Draw string closure, short handle. $14, $1.50 to ship.

Small embroidered purse from a village in China. Draw string closure, short handle. $14, $1.50 to ship.

The Season of Preparation

Many Many people have been asking this momma to be about the wait now that we know. Is it hard, does it seem long….. so on and so forth. And oddly enough I have complete peace in the waiting to bring her home. Yes, I long to have her in our arms and in our house, but I also know and recognize that it is a process. It has been a long “paper pregnancy” and we can finally say we are in the third trimester.

Nope, I have not thought about what her room would look like. I have not thought about the colors of the curtains, walls, sheets etc. I have been rather busy getting paperwork done. Our immigration paperwork should have reached their hands yesterday. That should take 2-3 weeks if all goes well. And then it comes back to us and off to the Visa Clearing Center, 2-3 weeks and then back to China. That is where we wait for a travel date. If all goes well we could travel as early as middle to late February or sometime in early March. We will have a three week notice and then go time!

We have been busy working on the paperwork, sending her picture out to our family, planning for what life will look like after her arrival and honestly just rejoicing in the fact that we have a face. That we stare at this sweet smile, full of joy, wondering if she knows about her family yet. I wonder what they have told her about us coming, or if they even have. We had the opportunity to put together Hosanna’s first gift as her parents this week which was a photo album of our family along with a small toy. Such a small gift compared to the gifts that she has given us through the adoption process. But it will be the first time she “meets” us. It is amazing to think, this album that I spent hours putting together will be in her hands and she will look at the translation and see that there is a mama and a baba coming to get her. Logically I know that she indeed does not understand one bit the gravity of that. The gravity of being taken from the only “family” she has known in the orphanage into our arms, on to a plane where we get paperwork that says she is ours. Then onto another plane, where she will step foot into her new home, new cat, new room, new things, new family, new life and even new citizenship. Everything about who she is will change in an instant when the dotted line is signed. This concept has been weighing heavy on my heart for her.

I know there will come a time when she will want to know the story that has been written for her. I was praying last week that in some way we could get a hold of some picture of her from before she was two. Just something for her to have that says “your story was long written before you were two”.  We got our package in the mail with all of the next steps, travel info and such, and there on the front cover was an answered prayer, a picture of her from a younger point. I cried….stared and cried. And as I combed through the book, there were more. I think they range from age 12-18 months maybe (totally wild guess) but it is something.

So, while I want her here and want her here now, I know that she is being taken care of.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Instead I wrestle with what it will look like when she gets home. We try to contemplate what she might need medically without seeing her. We celebrate her with friends and family and we pray. We pray that she is taken care of, we pray that she knows we are coming and most of all we pray for her to be knit with our hearts in an unexplainable way when we meet.

More to come,

Jennifer

Please be praying for all the paperwork. We are waiting for the green light from the US government to say that we can indeed adopt her. And we are waiting for our homestudy update, which we need soon.