Journey Nu`Er

There are many things that I think one can learn on the adoption journey. There are so many highs and lows.

This week I have been learning about grief, Yes grief. Years ago I had spent time as a grief counselor working with Children who had lost a parent or sibling. It was a very eye opening time. But grief encompasses so much more than just losing a loved one. You can grieve over someone breaking your heart, you can grieve over things not going your way.

We spent some time this week learning about grief during the adoption process.

The gracious birth mom will grieve at the choice to give up our daughter. She very well may think about her every year on her birthday.

Our daughter very well may spend time grieving at different parts of her life. She will grieve her care takers that she currently has and the home that she had in the orphanage, she may grieve her birth family and not knowing them. And there are so many moments that we have yet to know.

And then there is the grief that we, as the adoptive parents will grieve. Why you ask? Well there are many reasons. I grieve the infant that I will not have. Why? We will be adopting a child that is not an infant. The days of initial bonding that so many experience we will not. I will not experience what it is like to carry our child for 9 months. I have been told that I can’t have children. (And while I believe my God is big enough to change his mind) for right now that is where we are at. There is the grief that comes with the adoption process, waiting for someone to tell you that you are fit to be a parent, the grief that comes in the waiting.

But we are also realistic that there will be moments that there will be moments of joy. Joy when we get our documents in, and we eagerly wait for our referral. The moment when we get our referral and we anticipate going to meet her. Oh, and then the moment that I think about, when we meet her for the first time. Ahh, what a glorious day that will be.

So there you have it, what I have learned and processed through this week. We trust in the child that has been picked for our family, regardless if we even know who she is.

And to answer the questions of where we are going? After much prayer, we are journeying a little further east to China. Nu`Er if you wonder, means daughter.

Till next time,

Jennifer