Lessons on Parenthood

With every piece of paper that I sign and move around, It dawns on me that is one step closer to being a parent. One step closer to having her home and step closer to making our family more complete.

But it dawns on me, she will not be mine entirely. She is being given, entrusted to us for a time being. She is not ours, but ours to raise as God calls us to raise her. The reality is she is HIS and HIS alone.

Yes, she is our daughter, yes we are working tirelessly to bring her into our home. But the reality is, not matter if a child comes from your womb or from someone else’s, when God says here, please take care and raise her up for me.

I found this in the bible today: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west”. Isaiah 43:5- That took my breath away

As I fill out what seems like the hundreds of pages, and get together the papers to be notarized and then eventually notarized three more times. The lengths that we have been called to go to be parents. I can’t imagine anyone going through this process and taking it for granted. I am going through this process thinking, Wow my child may already be sitting in an orphanage just waiting. Her birth mom may already be in the process of making the decision to say, she needs more than I can give. Both grieving a great loss.

I have heard from people over the past couple months, several comments. I hope that you get an infant, I hope that your child is normal or your adopted child will be so lucky. And my thoughts, are, we are fine with the age that is chosen for us, to us she will be completely normal, she is our child, no label of adopted will go before her and yes she will be lucky. Not because we are pumping ourselves up in regards to rescuing her, but God loves us enough to bring her to our family and loves her enough to entrust us with her.

Maybe this is what nesting is like for adoptive parents. I hear that right before a baby is born, Women tend to nest. Cleaning, organizing you name it. In a way we are doing that here. We have been cleaning up the house and yard for our home study. We have been cleaning out our stuff, not only to get rid of the excess but also in anticipation of our upcoming yard sale (More to come), and cleansing our hearts of the junk that does not need to be there. I almost feel like I am in constant training for preparation to be her mom, and I know that training will continue long after she is here.

As you can tell, this blog will be more than just, here is what we have next. It is a journey that we will be keeping for her. In hopes of being able to give her a glimpse of HER story.

Random thoughts as I sit with a mound of paper,

Much Love and Longing, Jennifer