The Call

2/19 around lunch time my phone rings and it is the adoption agency. I was preparing to hit the road for a work trip. I had a 3.5 hr ride ahead of me.  Could it really be a referral already???

Indeed it was. They had a possible child for us. A two year old little girl who was abandoned on the side of the road about a year ago. No name, no papers no information.  In Chinese fashion…. Some good-hearted people found herJ and brought her to the authorities. They were sending us her report along with some pictures. The catch, 72 hours to make a decision.  72 hours to get a hold of her pediatrician, 72 hours to pray and 72 hours to get our letter of intent in, if indeed she is the one.

I thought this through extensively, exactly when the 72 hours would end. I was traveling for the next 48. I hated the thought that Michael and I would not really be in person to make this decision and also filled with excitement that maybe my house would seem fuller when I got home.

I called Michael and said a possible match has been found. She will be on our email in 30 minutes, let’s Skype tonight and look at her together. And that was it, I was on the road.

I called in all the troops to hit their knees and pray. People from near and far were praying for us. I drove and imagined what she might look like. What would my first reaction be, what would Michael’s be.

We got on Skype that night, it was an agonizing wait. But, what was to come was incredibly unexpected. I looked at her picture and knew she was not mine. I poured over the pictures that we had, she was not my daughter. We read over the report together, she was not my daughter. I knew in my heart, this was not our little girl.

We called in the troops to help get a hold of a Dr since ours was on vacation. A kind hearted pediatrician in another state spoke with me. As we went through everything, I kept saying to myself, she was not mine. I talked with Michael and we confirmed that she was not ours. We were both heart broken in an unexplainable way. There was this little face, who was craving a family and we were not it.

I hit the road to come home this evening tears streamed. I wondered why God would put a child in front of us and have her not be ours. My heart was broken in an unexplainable way. I stopped along the way and have some dinner with great friends. (So thankful that I did. It was a quick stop, but one that was incredibly timely)  This face reminded me that God has a plan and HE knows who is supposed to be in what family.

If you knew the story of this little guy you would fully understand the words that I heard, "I have a plan" 

I still do not understand why we have been on this journey, and it has taken this turn.  I pulled in the driveway late tonight and there was a sense of emptiness as I pulled in. So far the waiting process has been peaceful to me. It changed this week.

Incredibly, in the past two days we have learned some things that we did not know. Some logistical pieces along with exactly what this next step means to the heart.

We are praying for this little one, not only for her in general, but for God to bring her forever family quickly. And we pray for God to reveal to us exactly who Baby Bowden is. We wait for HIS plan to be shown in a clear way.

Jennifer