The Season of Preparation

Many Many people have been asking this momma to be about the wait now that we know. Is it hard, does it seem long….. so on and so forth. And oddly enough I have complete peace in the waiting to bring her home. Yes, I long to have her in our arms and in our house, but I also know and recognize that it is a process. It has been a long “paper pregnancy” and we can finally say we are in the third trimester.

Nope, I have not thought about what her room would look like. I have not thought about the colors of the curtains, walls, sheets etc. I have been rather busy getting paperwork done. Our immigration paperwork should have reached their hands yesterday. That should take 2-3 weeks if all goes well. And then it comes back to us and off to the Visa Clearing Center, 2-3 weeks and then back to China. That is where we wait for a travel date. If all goes well we could travel as early as middle to late February or sometime in early March. We will have a three week notice and then go time!

We have been busy working on the paperwork, sending her picture out to our family, planning for what life will look like after her arrival and honestly just rejoicing in the fact that we have a face. That we stare at this sweet smile, full of joy, wondering if she knows about her family yet. I wonder what they have told her about us coming, or if they even have. We had the opportunity to put together Hosanna’s first gift as her parents this week which was a photo album of our family along with a small toy. Such a small gift compared to the gifts that she has given us through the adoption process. But it will be the first time she “meets” us. It is amazing to think, this album that I spent hours putting together will be in her hands and she will look at the translation and see that there is a mama and a baba coming to get her. Logically I know that she indeed does not understand one bit the gravity of that. The gravity of being taken from the only “family” she has known in the orphanage into our arms, on to a plane where we get paperwork that says she is ours. Then onto another plane, where she will step foot into her new home, new cat, new room, new things, new family, new life and even new citizenship. Everything about who she is will change in an instant when the dotted line is signed. This concept has been weighing heavy on my heart for her.

I know there will come a time when she will want to know the story that has been written for her. I was praying last week that in some way we could get a hold of some picture of her from before she was two. Just something for her to have that says “your story was long written before you were two”.  We got our package in the mail with all of the next steps, travel info and such, and there on the front cover was an answered prayer, a picture of her from a younger point. I cried….stared and cried. And as I combed through the book, there were more. I think they range from age 12-18 months maybe (totally wild guess) but it is something.

So, while I want her here and want her here now, I know that she is being taken care of.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Instead I wrestle with what it will look like when she gets home. We try to contemplate what she might need medically without seeing her. We celebrate her with friends and family and we pray. We pray that she is taken care of, we pray that she knows we are coming and most of all we pray for her to be knit with our hearts in an unexplainable way when we meet.

More to come,

Jennifer

Please be praying for all the paperwork. We are waiting for the green light from the US government to say that we can indeed adopt her. And we are waiting for our homestudy update, which we need soon.

Confirmation Letter Day!!!

People have asked just how I have been managing the part of waiting knowing someone is taking care of my daughter. The only thing that I can think of is to write to her. So here is the latest with our adoption and the next steps. We are busy now getting the house ready, and praying for the last of the funding to come together. 

Dear Hosanna,

Tonight was an exciting day. Since we said yes on November 2^nd we have eagerly been waiting for the confirmation letter from China that says you are locked in for us. Gingererly, over the past 2 weeks we have been telling people that you were coming. But this letter makes it all the more real. And so now begins the next 12-14 weeks (Lord willing) of our maneuvering through the different hands of various government departments will bring you home, sometime mid-to late February, or early March.

Once the letter arrives tomorrow by UPS, we will then file the necessary things for our I800A which is the US immigration that we need to do. This process will take 2-3 weeks. Then your paperwork goes to the National Clearing House for visa paperwork. This takes another 2-3 weeks. Then off to CCWA in China for another 2-3 weeks to process all the final documents that are needed and that is where we wait for travel approval. Once travel approval gets granted we will have about 3 weeks or so to get it all together to come and get you.

I have really been thinking about your story lately of your life. My heart hurts to think that there are parts of your life, I will never be able to give you. That breaks my heart. The pictures that we have, leave an absence for you that my prayer is God will be able to fill. He is your ultimate daddy. No matter how much your dad or I love you, your Heavenly Daddy will be the one to meet all your needs. I look at your picture, and know that there are two years missing that we cannot give. But sweet girl, we will try our hardest to direct you to the one that can.

Thinking about you as I fall asleep and according to your schedule, you are getting ready to have a snack and spend your day. I wonder if you know about us, or the large crowd of folks loving you from afar just like we are.

We love you much, and are in high gear for the count down of our lives and yours!

Mom

The day we said YES!

 Dear Sweet One,

 While it is still fresh in my mind I thought I would pen to you the day that we said Yes!

We were sitting in the Dr. that has been fixing your dad’s broken leg. We were really hoping for news that he would be able to walk again. And we got a call, from Ms. Mary, who has been searching for you for almost 10 months now. She was sending us a Sweet Little girl to consider. I have to be honest…. My heart sank. My heart was so drained for the 5 no’s that we gave, I did not know if I could bear another. We had decided after the last one that we were not really going to tell many if we got a referral mainly because it was just to hard to explain the no. And it is not that the children before were not good enough, it was just that God said no, which made us say no.

There we sat, and the email popped up. I was very hesitant at first to open it, but I did and before I did anything else I laid my eyes on your sweet face, and in an instant I knew. I knew you were it. We poured over your medical report, research quickly what they said your disability was. And then we got to watch two videos of you. My heart was jumping, your dad had a little glisten in his eye. We sent your file off to the pediatrician. I texted a very small amount of people to say PRAY. Our 72 hour decision window began.

We went and spoke with the Dr. about your dad’s leg, He got cleared to walk. We were ecstatic. As we sat there, and asked questions to the Dr., I decided to ask some questions about you and she confirmed what we were thinking, your disability was minor and treatable.

We left the Dr’s office and headed home. The thoughts of you filled our hearts. I spoke with the pediatrician that night and he to confirmed what we had thought and read. I kept hearing this whole time a voice saying trust me.

That is when the fear gripped me. The human side of my heart took over and wrestled with the very depths of my soul. There were so many things that we have not worked out that still needed to be discussed for what happens when we got a referral and said yes. There were other things in my heart that were not settled at all. Your dad and I decided to take the night and pray, coming back together the next evening. And that is what we did. We prayed, I wrestled, processed with some wisdom filled people. That evening when we got home late in the evening we sent off the “intent to adopt”. A seven page paragraph document with what our plans were for you once you come home. We said YES at 9:30pm on October 29^th.

We are very excited for you to get home. You see, we have been praying for you since June of 2011. We signed our papers to begin the adoption on June 18, 2011. You were born on September of that year and 8 days later your birth mom released you to come into our family. I am sure at the time she did not know that you would be coming here, but God knew. HE knew that you were to be in our family. We have prayed for two years for you, prayed for your care takers, prayed for your birth momma.

Your name, will be Hosanna. As I looked back in my journal, that was the name I knew would be yours shortly after we began this process. It means Praise, Joy, Adoration. Perfectly suited for your sweet smile. You are in an orphanage in a province that I have visited a couple of times. Actually you are just a very short train ride from some very good friends of mine.

I wish we could post your picture online, but alas we cannot until you are ours officially. We expect that to take place sometime in March or April. There is much paperwork to be done, much to be done at home to get ready for you. We are going to have a party in about a month to “reveal” your picture to everyone and celebrate just what God has been doing.  But I will say, what struck us first and foremost, was how much you look like your cousin and her first picture that was received from her orphanage in Russia. Even she remarked that you both looked alike.

So for now, I pray. I pray for your “Aunties” that are charged with your care. I pray that you are getting everything that you need. I pray that you can feel we are coming. I pray that you can sense a Heavenly Father that loves you more than you will ever be able to comprehend. My prayer is that your relationship with Him will grow strong. So in the days when you might struggle with why your story was written the way it was, you never have a void. Because HE will be the only one that can fill that void.  

Ephesians 1:4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.

You have a family far beyond what you can comprehend and they are so excited to celebrate you. It is going to be an exciting 6 months around here.

So for now, dear Hosanna, you are loved far beyond what you will know until we get you in our arms.

Love,

Your Mom

 So, there you go folks, those are some of the details. At this point, we cannot post her picture, so if you see us out and about, please find us, and we will be happy to show her to you. Michael is still working on her middle name, so please be praying for him. Also, we have about 4-5k left to raise in order to be fully funded. You will see T-shirts being posted, Chinese charms, etc in an effort to assist with the rest of the fees. God has done great things, we trust that He will finish HIS work. We also have a ton of logistics to figure out, some that need great wisdom. We are also waiting for our seeking confirmation letter. We cannot move forward with any paperwork until that comes from China. 

 We are excited!

 Jennifer

Restoring 35

I thought I would provide an update from the last blog post. The surgery went fine, thank you so much for praying. The disease had progressed more than we thought, but Praise the Lord for good medical care and a Dr. with mad skills. Hopefully the procedure will last a few years and the need for a hysterectomy can be held off. Shortly after, I got a fluid infection in my chest. So, it has taken a few weeks to finally feel back to normal and get moving again at somewhat of a normal speed.

I am incredibly thankful for our “family”. There have been so many that have provided us food, sent cards, texts, carted Michael around, spent the day with me at the Dr., came to the hospital, got prescriptions, visited but most of all showed the love of Jesus. With the exception of one or two, these were all the family that comes not from blood but, from being bought with a price at the Cross. And so while the love may have not come from those one would expect, love over bounded in others.

This coming week I will turn 35. I had the honor of sharing 24 of those birthdays with my dear grandmother. I miss the fact that we no longer celebrate together. How she would request a cheese cake, and mine was usually an ice cream cake or to die for chocolate.

But, there has also been much in my 35^thyear that have learned, endured, and am grateful for.

I have heard someone say that you really can’t claim to have wisdom especially to recognize the things of your past until you are 30. That you haven’t lived enough life to claim to know. And, as I think back to this past year, I am beginning to agree.

One thing that has been such a theme during this year is healing. Not so much the physical healing in times of sickness, but the healing of the heart. The hard stuff that requires work, thought, processing, grace, love and God. The stuff that you do not necessarily want to deal with, but know and can feel in time that it will creep up to eat you alive. It will feed on and destroy the things that you hold dear, pick away at relationships till there is barley anything left and all the while have you believe that it is nothing for you to own.

And so, I have spent a lot of energy in my 35^th year of life wanting to get rid of those things of my past and eat away, in an effort to live what the Cross says about them being no more, but also for the tangible fact that I do not want to pass them to my child. I want my house rules to truly stand for what they mean when you tell my children to be kind, respect others, love people, be honest, work hard exedra. And, in my eyes this will include all people. There is no picking and choosing based on what side of the family they come from, what I think about how they live their lives etc.

I have had to work hard on my heart to really put some things behind me. I have had to work and process on the concept of making a mends with people, really wanting to make the relationship right in the eyes of God. There are a few people, that I would love to make amends with as the bible calls,

James 5:16  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

2 Corinthians 5:19 That is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.

But at the same time, I know that it would not be received. I know that it would not be met with the Christly love they claim.  I am left to reconcile to an empty chair, fulfilling my obligation that the bible gives, and praying with all my heart that if it is God’s will the relationship might be restored. But, also having the peace that if it is not restored on this side of heaven, there will be one less thing that God will question me about.

I will say, there is great freedom in healing your heart. Great freedom in taking the time to take care of you. Great freedom in facing those that show anything that is less than love, the love that only comes from a heart that stood before the Cross and dealt.

Thankful for the time to be restored,

Jennifer