Some big milestones

This month has held some big milestones for us. Our girl turned 3 on the 8^th. It was more than likely the first birthday that she has ever had we made sure it was special. The night before Michael and I decorated the house for her and had her gifts waiting. We even decorated the hallway from her room to the living room. Then when she got up the next morning, she was so excited. She let out this little shirk of joy and the smile on her face was beyond words. While she has no clue what a birthday is, she knew this day was about her.

Then over the weekend we had her birthday/welcome home celebration. We had over 60 people at our house to celebrate with us the fact that she was home and it was her

birthday. There were so many more that we wanted to invite, but the guest list was so large to begin withJ As we went through this guest list, we marveled at the fact of just how many people walked this road with us in our immediate view, that does not mention the countless that were out of state and even out of the country. We had a blast! And I think the best part was watching people who struggled with the fact that we asked for no gifts. Several reasons for this, but the biggest was she would have been so incredibly overwhelmed. But also, we do not want to raise our kid in a way where she becomes so worldly with stuff, so we asked for no gifts. A few people snuck them in, and we opened them up over the course on Sunday and Monday.

And then Monday, the 16^th, we celebrated being a family of three for 6 months. I marvel at the fact that it has only been a few short months. Hosanna is growing like crazy, adding another inch to the already 2 she grew since we have been back, and is topping out at a 10lb weight gain. She has a 40 word or so English vocabulary and is adding words each and every day. She is eating pretty much everything that we put in front of her with the exception of green things. She is sleeping through the night for the most part. She is full of a song constantly, singing and making us giggle. We have also gotten to the point where I can come and go (with some explanation) and it is not a major meltdown. We have also gotten to where she is going into kids church along with a few other kid activities during the week without any major set backs, in fact she is thriving in each and every situation. So over all she is doing great.

The Day we met

There of course, are some things that we are still working through. There is some regressing that we are experiencing, which is very normal for kids who have been adopted. There is also the constant reminder that I have to give myself, which age wise she is 3, but she is not at the normal 3 year old level on some things. It is just something that we have to keep in the back of our minds and occasionally have to justify to people for her. Someone told me shortly before we traveled to China, that I should consider this survival mode, do not try to institute so much at once. And added that the first 6 months will more than likely be survival mode. They were so right, I am just starting to feel like I am getting solid feet on the ground and finding some kind of semblance to my life.  It was by far the best advice that I had gotten and have held on to it.

We have also had a role change in the house, I became a stay at home mom full time. On August 25^th I left my role at LDI to just be “mom”. And while, I cannot say that I have found my grove with it, or that it feels normal, or I am even fully enjoying it, It is what she needs. After 17 years in the full time work world, this transition has been hard for me. It is not because I do not like my daughter or anything odd like that, it is just a hard transition. But I am thankful. Thankful that we worked out tails off to be in this spot. Thankful that I have a husband who is willing to work his tail off so that we can live this way. I have no clue how long this season will last, but I know it is right where I need to be for right now.

So there you have 6 months. We have learned a tremendous amount in these short 6 months. Excited for what the road has ahead.

Jennifer

Tomorrow we are 3!!!!!

There is much excitement in this house tonight, we put our girl to bed a little bit early, and decorated for her big day tomorrow. She will be turning 3. For weeks I have spent time cutting Mickey Mouse (referred to as Hot Dog in our house) in anticipation of our girls day. When you think, this is more than likely the first birthday for her that will be celebrated. I am very very excited for her to get up in the morning and for us to celebrate, but this has also become a processing moment for me.

There are several angles that my thoughts are wondering to.

First- Her first two years of life were very very full. She was born, and abandoned. She went to live in an orphanage. And for the next 29 months she lived there, with 200 other children and taken care of by one specific nanny along with a team of other people coming in and out. Her disability was never really addressed, and so she lived with one arm, learned how to adapt. Then we showed up. She was exposed to so many new things. A mom and dad, new food, feeding herself, new clothes, Dr’s, government offices, planes rides, feeding fish, being in a stroller, car seat, new citizenship, a new house, new bed, a room not filled with children, new toys, playing by herself, watching mom make dinner, the store, new family members, learning how to use her arm, new language, etc…. By this exhaustive list you get the picture. She left every OUNCE of what she knew as normal, for this new life. All before the age of 30 months. I am looking forward (Lord willing) to her next years in life not being as traumatizing. To where we can really walk through some of the above with her, process with her, and watch her grow.

Then there is me, I am a mom of a 3 year old, a 3 year old that I go almost 6 months ago. There is a bit of time missing there with her. And, there are days where I grieve that (it comes in waves) There are so many moments and days where I wish we would have had her early. That some of the things she experienced, I had wished I would have been there to see. Momentous occasions like first steps, first words….. You get the picture. But I am reminded, as a dear friend wrote to me not all that long ago, While I did not get to see those moments, they were seen, by the one who created her. They are not lost, and just the like the days previous to ours with her, the future is already written as well. Psalms 139 is something I read daily not just for myself, but for my girl.

Her birth Mom- Some people have said, how horrible she was to give her up. And, I have to honestly say I do not think so. I think, in hindsight, there are many other choices she could have made, abortion, putting her in a dumpster etc… Use your imagination. I am so incredibly thankful to this woman that I will never meet. She chose to give life, she chose to put her in a place where she would be found. Because of those choices we are a family. If she had changed any moment of her actions, we may not have Hosanna. So, I think about her this day and wonder if she thinks of her. Wonder how she processes knowing there is a little girl out there, produced from her womb but no longer in her care. I wonder if she thinks about the moments that she is missing, milestones, achievements, fun and snuggles. And I am sure, some are reading this thinking, she should be wondering. But that is not how it was designed so long ago. When the world was created, God did not create it with the mindset, Let me create a world with broken families, millions of kids should be parentless, kids should be abandoned, marriages should break up, and that is just scratching the surface of the craziness we see. So to her birth mom, I say thank you! The little gal you chose to allow us to have through your actions is doing amazing. And while I know that she is grieving you and all that she has been through, I am so thankful I was chosen to be her mom and given the opportunity to love her as long as is allowed.

I am excited to celebrate with my girl tomorrow and this week. We painstakingly took time picking out just the birthday gifts for our girl that she would love. We have a party planned for her on Saturday that is both a birthday and  a Welcome home. It is soooooo time to celebrate with all of those (that are local) who took part in bringing her home. Who prayed, Donated time, money, things, who were part of Team Baby Bowden. (those of you who are not local, you will be missed). It is time to throw down and celebrate just what has happened in our family.

We are about to hit the 6 month mark of being home….

Jennifer

The pictures below are from our house tonight, decorated and waiting for a certain 3 year old tomorrow. Each part you see here, minus the balloons were hand made by me.