Last Night

Today was our last full day in China and our last night. We will head to the airport at 4:45pm (4:45am est) tomorrow to begin our journey home. Life has changed so much in the past 13 days. We have done so many things, seen so many things, eaten a lot of food. We have changed some interesting diapers, watched people look at us in strange ways because of our child. Watched her grow leaps and bounds in the 9 days that we have known her.

As we prepare to leave China, my heart is heavy. Granted, I am very excited to go home and begin our life with our girl. I am ready to have her and teach her how to feed herself, bath her in her tub, have her chase her cat around. We are ready. But this Mama has done a lot of growing up in China since 2006 and is sad to let go of this country for a longer season than normal.  There is so much processing going on in my heart tonight, I thought it would be best to put it in letter form.

Dear China,

At first, you were never a place I wanted to visit. I had never used chopsticks, really ever eaten much Chinese food and always thought that things were as the new portrayed them. But you called me, and I answered. Little did I know just what that meant in 2006. Little did I know that I would do a great deal of growing up here. Little did I know I would learn through you what forgiveness meant, I would have never learned what true worship looked like because of the restrictions here. I would have never known what it meant to throw your whole self into your faith without looking back with worry of what would happen. Little did I know I would fall in love with you.

I knew back in 2007, coming back to the US was going to be hard. I had no clue just how hard that journey would be. I knew that the things I learned, would eventually rub people the wrong way. I knew that people would not understand. I never thought I would be working with your culture again. I had never thought I would have the opportunity to serve you again. But I have, and since then I have made 7 trips back to you. I have seen your ever-changing culture. Changing so much, that I do not feel like I can speak with confidence in who you are. I pray that your moral compass can take a shift back to things that are important. That money, power, things, do not continue to be your focus.

 I have traveled to roughly 30+ of your cities. Taken in wonders of the world that people dream about seeing. Again, I have fallen in love with you.

And now, all of the above was in some way preparing me for what I am doing here now. You had my daughter waiting. It was known all along that she would be coming from you. It was written even before you were written into existence.  And while there have been some frustrations this week and things I have not understood, I thank you. Thank you for allowing me to grow up here. Capture a piece of your language, see your culture, pray for your people and have my own little China doll. It will be a while before we see each other again. But, I know that we will.

Xie Xie,

Kong Ju

Dear Sweet Girl,

In the 9 short days that we have had you, it honestly seem fair to count, because it feels like you have always been here. We are on a grand adventure together. And I am incredibly humbled that God chose me as your Mama. Today you took the steps to become a US citizen and you really have no clue what that means. But it also means, you are taking the steps to let go of your Chinese passport. This is your last night in China for a while. Your Dad and I are already talking about when we are going to bring you back to see your homeland.

We have had many great laughs this week together and look forward to more to come. I know that you do not understand all that is going on. I know that you do not get even in the slightest bit, the fact that you are leaving your home country tomorrow for a long time. That you will be surrendering your passport at some point, for one that looks very different. Your Mama is already praying for the words to explain to you all that took place to get you here.  Your story is incredibly special and one that we cherish!

I am so looking forward to bringing you to your home and beginning our life not in suitcases or in hotels, but in our home.

Much love,

Your Mama

Dear Cathy,

We will never be able to put into words the joy that it was to have you here with us on this journey. God certainly knew what he was doing when he orchestrated this. You have been an incredible gift to us. Your timing on sharing wisdom is impeccable and just to watch you love our girl so freely is incredible.

I know that it was a sacrifice for you to be here. I know that you are missing your family and grandbabies. And to them I say thank you for loaning us you.

I am humbled by your act of service to my girl and thankful to call you family,

Much Love,

Jennifer

Team Baby Bowden,

To all of you who have stood by us in prayer, financial support, time support and just plain said we believe in you, thank you!!!! Without the army, we would not have made it. So much so, we are already talking about number 2. Thank you for walking this journey with us. We know that you will be carrying us home tomorrow and beyond, but a heartfelt thank you was in order. You each are a pen in her page.

Much Love,

Jennifer

Dear Michael,

It is amazing to see you as a dad. This little gal is lucky to have you and I can tell that God is rocking your world with her.  Thank you for being willing to listen and say yes to this journey. To allow your heart to be open to adoption, to not be scared of the cost or the sacrifice. And while it has not always been peaches and cream, you have been a huge cheerleader to keep going.

I know that there will be seasons with her that will be a challenge, but I am thankful that she is on loan to US for those seasons. We have a grand job ahead of us!

I Love You,

Me

Dear Jesus,

Without you none of this would be possible You have chosen her for us, and that leaves me speechless. I cannot believe the lengths that you have gone for our family in guiding, leading and providing.  I know that there were times of doubt in my heart and for that I ask for forgives.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be her Mama and be part of her story. I know that you will walk with us as we raise her in your sight. Protect us and lead us in that way. We need you for this task and without you she would not be ours.

Your servant,

Jennifer

We will be landing in Atlanta on the 27th at 6:45am on a Delta flight from LA. You are more than welcome to come to the airport. But I have a few requests. When we land and get our luggage, we ask that people do not follow us home. Going home will be overwhelming for her and the more there the more overwhelming it will be. 

Also, to her everyone is a care giver at this point. We are trying to teach her who her care givers are and then allow her to learn as we go about the people that love her. So please do not grab her from us to get into her face. 

We appreciate you all,

Jennifer