May......Marks October

Happy May Day. In China this is a big holiday, big enough to give everyone the day off. For me, it marks another month of waiting, and another month off the calendar that we will not be leaving to get our daughter.

The wait is incredibly hard. And for someone who was never good at waiting, it is harder. I know that this is a time of stretching, walking in faith, but man it is rough. Imagine being pregnant (for almost two years) with no due date insight. For those of my friends that have experienced pregnancy, no due date would produce a wrath J that would more than likely bring down a country. 

I have people breathing down my neck wanting to know our plans for the fall. I have had people tell me in recent weeks that I am ruining their vacation plans because we do not know when we are going. To them, I say sorry and deal. I know it might sound a bit harsh, but that is the reality. Think about what you are saying before you say it. At times part of me just want to scream “Do you not know what it is like to wait?? Wait for someone to tell you when you will be a parent??”. The only thing I can do is pray, pray for the selfishness to disappear and for them to get a grip. Even just this week, I had someone tell me it would be easier if you were pregnant, then a timeline would be definitive. Don’t you think I know that?

I think one of the harder parts in waiting is watching others, who began the process after us get their referral before us and even a travel time line. Circumstances in adoption are so individual and so you cannot compare, but it is so hard not to.

But there are some positives to waiting…… We are able to pray and reach out to others. I sent Mary (The lady at the adoption agency that we are working with) an email just to let her know that we were praying for her. She replied “That is the nicest thing I have heard in a while”. She has a huge job, needing the eyes to see who fits into what family.

We are able to save even more. Right now we are working on the orphanage fee and our travel expenses and then our adoption will be fully funded. Crazy to think when we began this journey there was a huge mountain. The mountain is ever so easier to climb.

I have some time to do things I probably would not be doing if we had children. Like jet setting to meet some friends in the FL Keys for a fun filled weekend. The beach…. The one place where my batteries get recharged and beauty just hits.

I guess you can call these, thoughts for the morning. I am incredibly grateful for the folks that are willing to walk along side. The emails, phone calls, texts of just saying we are praying. It is amazing to think that we have people on several continents praying for our daughter. Praying for her reveal, praying for her to come home and praying for her parents as they prepare. The body is humbling, people willing to stand in the gap.

Longing and resting on hope,

Jennifer